


Last First Kiss

by kisekinosedai



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, soonhao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:44:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisekinosedai/pseuds/kisekinosedai
Summary: "Nevertheless, it is exactly about it that I wanted to talk, but obviously not in person because I am too coward and too scared to ask.“Did you love me?“Did you love me since the beginning or was it just pettiness over that that lost boy?"





	Last First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Last First Kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/364158) by Me. 



> Hey guys, this is my first fanfic in English and on AO3.
> 
> The first part of the fanfic was betaed by my friend Stella. And the last part was my poor writing and revision; I'm so sorry for any mistakes. I'm trying to learn English so I've been practicing a little.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: Okay, my teacher betaed for me!!!!  
>  
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy!

_"When you opened this letter, you perhaps asked yourself ‘Why is he writing a letter when technology exists?’ You know that I’m a romantic fool, so I will use this opportunity to write just this time, just for you. I would like to thank you for these two years together. All those happy moments, also the sad ones; after all, not everything is flowers, right?_

_“I would like to thank you for all the support you gave me when I was finally accepted into University. It was a big step for me, and I will be forever grateful to you. Thank you a lot. I would like to thank you for when you invited me to live with you after my parents kicked me out when I told them I am gay. I think it was when everything started between us. You were getting close to me. Before that, we were just friends. Not even best friends, just friends._

_“Therefore, everything has changed like those clichés that I like to read. We kissed. We confessed (you confessed first. As always, I was one- step behind you). And then, everything began._

_“Our date; our life together; the way we care for one another; our kisses; our nights making love; our ‘I love you’s. Everything started._

_“Nevertheless, it is exactly about it that I wanted to talk, but obviously not in person because I am too coward and too scared to ask._

_“Did you love me?_

_“Did you love me since the beginning or was it just pettiness over that that lost boy?_

_“Did you love me like you love Mingyu?_

_“Are you surprised that I knew about your dates with him? Perhaps you shouldn’t because I can be a romantic fool, but I get the atmosphere around me, so don’t get too surprised, okay? I am not mad, just upset._

_“The truth is, I always knew your dates with Mingyu since they started, but I denied to myself as I melted for your ‘I love you’s when all this love wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to accept because you are my only and true love. Only you._

_“I always knew that it wasn’t worth to date. I was afraid that I could be replaced. The insecurity was always talked too loud in my head.  
Then you came. _

_“I thought that you could prove me wrong, but you just made my greatest fear come true. But don’t blame yourself; I don’t want you to do that. It was my fault for not being the right person for you, so to redeem myself, I let you go. I’m breaking up with you so you can be happy with Mingyu._

_“This is my Valentine's present for you. I hope you like it.  
Maybe this isn’t my best letter but it's the most truthful that I could ever be. I’ll always be your friend who you always can count on."_

**— Kwon Soonyoung**

Minghao didn’t know how to take all of this as he finished Soonyoung’s letter; the writing all-shaking up from his (ex) boyfriend broke his heart in pieces. This meant that Soonyoung was crying and the Chinese could not believe what was happening.

When he first kissed Soonyoung he understood what it means to belong somewhere, and sadly this place wasn’t loving him. However, he always cared for the guy with big, adorable cheeks. Nevertheless, he knew that all of this was just a friendship. Therefore, as he thought that the atmosphere between them started to get awkward in the house that his friend needed a lot, he asked Soonyoung to be his boyfriend, and he was so happy that Minghao just couldn’t tell him the truth.  
So one fateful day he met Mingyu, and his attraction to the brunette was so strong, it was something that he and Soonyoung could never share. Kim understood the situation that Minghao was facing. He decided to wait.

Minghao never thought that Soonyoung knew something was up. Xu was so stupid to think the romantic guy wouldn’t discover. Now there he was, a crying mess because, even if he didn’t love Soonyoung in a romantic way, he loved him in a platonic way. In addition, Kwon said in the letter that they will always be friends, and that was a big lie.

Soonyoung left without saying where he went. He left the cell phone Minghao gave to him. It was as Soonyoung said in the letter: not everything is flowers.  
Soonyoung wished just only one thing, which was for Minghao not to blame himself; but he just couldn’t leave this sentiment out of his heart. And because of him, Kwon’s dream and happiness are crushed.

He also thanked Minghao for all and blamed himself for not being loved by the Chinese. Years could pass, and after that long, he will always blame himself for letting Soonyoung go without taking face-to-face, without a last goodbye, without a last “I love you” and this time it would be true.


End file.
